Rito's New Troubles Vol 6
by Sallem Cortez 004
Summary: Oshizu is back from her training, and is ready to lift the curse placed on Haruna. She can't do it alone though, and is going to need the help of the entire harem to get the job done. Watch, as a team of unlikely heroes fight villainous ghosts, rescue a friend, and deal with the typical wackiness of being in a harem. But not everything is as it seems, and deception is abound. 6/6.
1. Who Ya Gonna Call?

Here we go everyone! It's been a long time coming, but finally, here is the 6th and final volume in Rito's New Troubles. Some of you have been with me from the beginning, while others have just recently joined up. Now, just as a quick reminder, the planned layout of the series is as follows - 6 Volumes, 1 Epilogue, and several Omake (I haven't nailed down an exact number yet). Either way, I hope you enjoy this last installment in the main series, read and review to your heart's content, and feel free to check out some of the other stories on my profile.

* * *

**Thursday - School - With Rito  
**

Yawning widely, Rito slumped onto his desk with sagging eyes. _'Why did we go at it for so long?'_ He wondered, thoughts of last night still heavy in his mind. The girls were beasts in the sack, that much was for certain. He'd barely gotten any rest last night, even though he greatly enjoyed himself. _'Here's hoping that today isn't too demanding.'_ While these weren't anywhere close to famous last words, they were still jinxing things nonetheless.

"Settle down everyone," Honekawa-sensei told his class as he knocked on his desk a few times to get their attention. "Before we get underway, I have an announcement to make." Upon hearing this, Rito mentally prepared himself for the usual pattern to occur again. "As many of you know, Oshizu Murasame has been away from school for a while to undergo some private tutoring. As of yesterday, she's finished up her lessons with her instructor, and will be coming back to school later today."

At this, a wave of relief washed through Rito, as did one of excitement wash through the whole class. _'It's been nearly two months since she left,'_ Rito thought. _'I wonder what she's been up to all this time.'_ As it turned out, he didn't need to wait long to find out.

"I'm back!" Oshizu remarked as she opened the door. While everyone was all smiles for a second at the welcome return of one of their classmates, the happy faces quickly turned to ones of confusion when she entered. Understandable, since the once pretty girl that many girls in the class were looking forward to catching up with, and many boys were hoping to make a pass at (with so many girls being snatched up by Rito, many boys were rushing to get girlfriends) had changed greatly during her short time away.

"It's so nice to see everyone again!" Oshizu smiled as she bowed to the class, many of whom were staring in shock and awe. "I've learned many things during my time away from school, and I hope we can all continue to get along."

"Very good, Oshizu." Nodded Honekawa-sensei, not noticing her new condition due to poor eyesight. "You may go to your regular seat now, and we can start class."

"Thank you sensei." Said Oshizu as she walked to her seat, oblivious to all the stares and whispers she was getting from her classmates.

"What happened to her?" "She was barely gone two months." "How could she have changed so much in such a short time?" "I think I'll just let Rito have this one." "I actually think she's kind of cute like this." "You would, you freak." "It's just her appearance that's changed." "Has anyone seen my shoe?"

Comments like these and more went unnoticed by the ghost girl as she sat down and readied herself for class. Opening her textbook, she looked as though she didn't even notice it, and may have in-fact, not noticed it.

Looking at Oshizu, Rito sighed. _'I suppose it's not all that unusual in comparison to what I've seen lately.'_ He noted mentally. _'Muscle, catgirl, hourglass, conjoined. Looking at all these, Oshizu getting fat just looks outright normal.'_

* * *

**Lunch Period - Rooftop - With Rito, His Harem, and Oshizu.  
**

"It's so good to have you back, Oshizu-chan!" Said Lala energetically as she latched onto the now heavyweight girl, her hands unintentionally grabbing some rolls of fat. "But why have you gotten so big and poofy?" She asked curiously.

"Lala," Began Yui, who had seated herself several feet away from Rito out of embarrassment for last night. "I know things don't exactly work this way for you, but when humans overeat, they put on weight and get fat." Backpedaling quickly, she stuttered. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with being fat, of course! I'm just saying that's how humans work!"

"It's perfectly alright, Yui." Oshizu reassured her as Lala let go and took her seat. "In fact, I was actually hoping to bring the topic of my weight up. It has quite a lot to do with what I was doing these past few months."

"I'm curious about the connection myself," Ryouko inquired as Celine swung from her arm. "I thought you left to receive training in your spiritual powers, not to receive training to become a sumo wrestler."

"Ryouko, show a bit more tact!" Panicked Tearju. "She's one of my students after all."

"It's nothing, really." Oshizu told her. "I'm perfectly fine weighing 216 pounds, as it shows just how much talent I have as a shaman."

"I'm completely lost now," Nana said, slightly freaked out by how much Oshizu just admitted to weighing. "How does all that blubber show how powerful you are?"

"Well, it's somewhat complicated, but I'll try to give the abridged version." Oshizu began. "As my master for the past two months told me, the strength of the body is muscle, and the strength of the spirit is fat. However, fat gained by eating the food of the living will only poison your body if gained in excess. That is why fat must be gained through the food of the spirits if one is to become a powerful shaman. This is why Buddha was known to be so blubbery. His strength of spirit was extremely great."

"Does this mean I'll have to get fat when I die if I want to stay strong?" Ryouko asked despondently. "I like being strong, but I also like having toned muscles to prove it. I don't want to pick and choose." Sensing how troubled she was, Rito squeezed her bicep to reassure he that he liked how she was too.

"No, no! It's not quite like that," Oshizu assured her quickly, trying to think of a way to better explain it. "How should I put this? The spirit is another way of saying your mind. My psychic powers are strengthened by my fat, but your physical strength will not fade even when you pass on. You won't be able to make things float with your mind, but you can still lift them with your body."

"Thank goodness, I'm too proud of my figure to even think of such a thing." Ryouko sighed in relief before she grabbed Rito in a headlock, pressing his head against one of her boobs. "I'm sure you wouldn't like me as a fatty either, would you Darling?"

"I'm fine with you however you are, Ryouko." Rito reassured her as he tried and failed to wiggle out.

_'So Rito's fine with fat girls...'_ Momo thought mischievously as her tail wiggled suspiciously and her mind began plotting.

"What's with that look you're getting, Momo?" Nana questioned her conjoined sister sternly.

"Well, technically there's a bit more to it than just eating the food of the spirits." Oshizu continued. "Spiritual Potential has a lot to do with it as well. If ones spirit doesn't have the innate potential, then gaining spirit fat is much harder."

"So... I'm guessing that you have quite a lot of potential." Yui remarked hesitantly.

"Oh yes!" Oshizu nodded enthusiastically. "While I've basically been carbo-loading these past several weeks, my potential is greater than anything anyone my teacher has ever seen or heard of before. The fact that my spirit has been lingering for 400 years is proof of that."

"What's the connection?" Yami asked curiously, taking pause from her lunch. "I'm guessing that the longer your spirit can stay in this world, the more powerful you are, but is 400 years a lot by that standard?"

"It's exceptionally long," Oshizu told the group. "For a comparison, even Buddha only managed to stay among the living for 300 years as a spirit once he died before passing on. While my potential, and therefor the amount of time I can linger will never change, it's highly likely I'll get much fatter than Buddha if I keep up my training."

"And you'd be okay with that?" Tearju asked in astonishment. "I know how most girls your age worry themselves sick thinking about their weight."

"I'm more than fine with it, I encourage it." Oshizu smiled as she began tearing into her lunch. "I originally lived and died in a time of famine, so storing fat is something of a long time ambition of mine."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Tearju sniffled. "I've heard from the others about how you had died so young, but I never knew how horrible you must have had it. Come here," She said as she latched onto Oshizu in a big, booby hug. "As your teacher, if you have anything you need to say, I'll be here for you."

While the two girls over-sized in different ways were hugging it out, everyone else was still fixating on Oshizu's earlier words.

"Oshizu has more potential than Buddha?" Yui whispered in awe. "Why is it that our group always attracts the strangest people to itself?"

"Buddha Oshizu." Yami mumbled as she imagined a bald and morbidly obese Oshizu wearing monk robes and sitting in a lotus position.

"Are you having another one of your moment, Yami?" Lala asked the girl, well aware of how active her imagination secretly was.

"Every girl in the harem seems to have some kind of gimmick to them," Ryouko said thoughtfully, already ahead of herself. "Lala, you may want to keep an eye out for something to give yourself an extra flair."

"Mau, mau mau mauuu?" Celine asked Momo curiously as she pointed at Oshizu.

"Maybe someday, Celine." Momo pet the little plant girl cheerfully. "You're just a little plant after my own heart, aren't you?"

"Should I be worried about whatever it is you two are talking about?" Nana asked, her eyebrow twitching in unease.

_'They're making their own selfish decisions about things again.'_ Rito thought as Ryouko loosened her grip enough for him to slip out. _'Oshizu's a good friend, but I'm not certain how I feel about the idea of her joining the harem. Granted, at this point I have no problems with expanding, but adding a girl to the harem just because we're already friends seems more than a little hasty.'_

"Oh, by the way, Rito," Oshizu called as Tearju let her go. "I'm going to need you and Tearju-sensei to help with something after school today."

"What is it you need help with?" Rito asked curiously, wondering what it was that she needed to do so soon after getting back.

"We're going to begin the process to wake Haruna from her curse induced coma." Oshizu answered boldly. "That's why I put so much effort into my training these past several weeks after all."

* * *

**After School - En Route to the Graveyard - With Rito, Oshizu, and Tearju  
**

"So, remind me again why we're doing this?" Tearju asked Oshizu as she and Rito barely kept pace with the surprisingly speedy fatty. "Your explanation was so short that I didn't quite understand it all."

"It's actually all quite simple really," Oshizu began. "The three ghosts haunting Rito have been resorting to one desperate measure after another to save themselves from Sallem's wrath."

"Yeah, that's the first thing I don't get," Rito cut in. "Everything I've seen and heard so far is that I only have one ghost haunting me. Where did the other two come from?"

"They've been there all along," Oshizu explained. "Let me ask you something, have you ever gotten any kind of confirmation on the number of ghosts haunting you from anyone other than Sallem? Directly or indirectly?"

"Now that you mention it," Hummed Rito as he rubbed his chin in recollection. "Every time it's been brought up, it's always been Sallem, one of his inventions, or one of his brothers bringing it up. Truth be told, I've long since had my suspicions that Sallem has been far from truthful in anything he says."

"But why would he deceive you like that?" Tearju wondered. "What purpose would it serve him to do something like that?"

"Well, Sallem strikes me as the kind of guy who's really petty and manipulative." Rito chuckled awkwardly. "While some of the lies he's told me might have a greater purpose to them, I think he mostly does it just to be annoying. The only reasons he gives for why he got involved in my life are to catch the ghost, or rather ghosts haunting me in paintings, and because making harems is a hobby of his, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had at least half a dozen other motives for it, or if the reasons he gave me are really the truth."

"Which actually brings me back to why we're here," Oshizu explained as the arrived at the gates to the graveyard. "Like I said, the three ghosts haunting you are resorting to increasingly drastic measures, and they've gotten so weak now that they've resorted to a kind of outsourcing."

"Haunting is beginning to sound an awful lot like a business." Tearju remarked nervously as they followed Oshizu through the graveyard.

"I suppose you could say it's a kind of business, at least in this case." Oshizu consented. "The ghosts haunting Rito don't want to get caught, so they've made contact with 5 malicious ghosts in the area, and have had them construct a pentagram around the city to protect them."

"And the other ghosts agreed to this?" Rito asked in astonishment. "If they're really so malicious, then why would they work with anyone else?"

"So that they can linger among the living for longer," Oshizu answered. "And also because the ghosts haunting you are so much stronger than they are. You see, a pentagram or other magic symbols can keep ghosts anchored among the living for a longer time, and the stronger the ghosts involved in making it are, the longer the symbol and their their stay among the living lasts. When a deal like this is offered, ghosts would take it up without a second though, simply because they want to have more fun before passing on."

"And one of those malicious ghosts is in this graveyard." Shuddered Tearju. "That makes sense, but why did you bring me and Rito here?"

"Rito needs to be present," Replied Oshizu. "The ghost won't show itself unless its masters appear, and even then you need to expose its weakness before it can be drained of energy and contained. That's why you're here Tearju-sensei, because you're he best bet for exposing its weakness."

"Which is why I'm the one holding the vacuum, huh?" Rito deadpanned as he readjusted the Poltergust strapped to his back.

"But how am I going to expose its weakness?" Tearju said fearfully. "I-I'm not going to be some kind of sacrifice, am I?"

"Of course not," Oshizu reassured her as the slowed down. "But it might not be the most pleasant experience for you." She admitted nervously as the turned down a row of graves, a familiar face standing in front of one.

"The Principal?" Rito blurted in astonishment as he rushed forward.

"Ah, Rito," The Principal said calmly as he adjusted his sunglasses. "And Tearju-sensei and Oshizu. What a pleasant surprise this is."

"What are you doing here?" Tearju said nervously as she backed away, well aware of what her boss was like.

"What does anyone do in a graveyard?" The Principal asked poetically, seemingly unfazed by the presence of two women. "I'm here to pay my respects to my dearly departed loved ones." Placing his hand on a tombstone, he continued. "This is my family grave. My grandfather, his father, and his father before them are all laid to rest here with their beloved partners in life. Someday my father and mother will rest here, as will I and whatever family I build." Pouring some sake on the grave and clapping his hands together, he concluded his spiel. "It's always important for us to show respect for our ancestors, for it is because they showed their families kindness that we exist today. I know I'm a very weird person, but you'll never see me show disrespect to my family." Gathering up his things, The Principal bowed before taking his leave. "Enjoy the rest of your day everyone, and I hope that whoever you're all here to visit is looking down on you fondly."

There was a long silence between Rito, Oshizu, and Tearju before someone spoke up. "Well that was completely out of character." Rito remarked at how solemn the usually perverse Principal seemed just now.

"Yes, considerably." Oshizu nodded. "Especially considering the ghost we came here to capture." She remarked as she tapped on the Principal's family grave. "Okay Rito, just touch this grave to summon the ghost from wherever it is, and we can commence capturing the first spirit in the pentagram."

"Eh?" Quirked Tearju in surprise, and just a little bit of fear. "You mean the ghost we came here to capture is one of The Principal's ancestors?"

"His great-grandfather to be exact," Oshizu confirmed. "That's why I asked you to come here with us, Tearju-sensei. Based on my research of perverted ghosts, they always show their vulnerability around beautiful women."

"Wait a second," Began Tearju nervously. "You mean that... I'm bait?"

"To put it bluntly, yes." Oshizu admitted awkwardly. "We really have no other option but this if we want Haruna to ever wake up. I suppose that we _could_ ask one of the other girls to do this, but your sexual traits are the biggest, so I just figured the ghost would respond best to them."

As Tearju whimpered behind Rito, he tried to defuse the situation. "Oshizu, are you certain that this ghost will react to Tearju the way you want it to?" He asked as he took slow steps forward, his hands held in a placating position. "I mean, even if he does come here, what makes you so certain that The Principal's Ancestor will be just as perverted as he is?" Just as Rito was about to take another step, a cat walked by, and he accidentally stepped on its tail, causing him to fumble and fall, just like the good old days. However, instead of grabbing a girl on the way down, he grabbed the tombstone. "Uh-oh." Panicked Rito internally.

"WAAAAAHHHH!" Cried out a ghostly wail, the tombstone shaking violently as a ghostly trail rose up from it. "PANTIIIEEEESSS!" The voice wailed as what looked like an elderly ghostly version of The Principal covered in ladies underwear formed from the smoke.

_'He really is just as perverted as The Principal!'_ Panicked Rito and Tearju as they held each other in fear.

"Eh? How did I get back to my grave?" Wondered the Great-Grandfather of The Principal (shortened to Grand-Principal) as he looked around in confusion. Suddenly, his eyes came upon Tearju, and suddenly he was all smiles. "Who cares about that though?! Let's have some fun beautiful!" He said as he suddenly got all sweaty and stripped off everything but his loincloth.

"He's exactly like his great-grandson!" Rito complained as the old man tried to pounce, but was stopped by a force field. "What in the world?"

"Rito!" Oshizu shouted to get his attention. "I've put up a barrier, but the pentagram makes him stronger than me, you have to draw him into the Poltergust, now!"

"Rito?!" Parroted Grand-Principal fearfully. "Oh no! You're the guy those three Queen-samas said would stop my fun! But I can't pass on until I've experienced all the beautiful women in Japan! I won't let you catch me!" He said as he struggled to get out of the barrier Oshizu had made.

"Rito! Hurry, I can't hold him much longer!" Oshizu grunted as she struggled to support her barrier. "His weakness has been exposed! You've got to capture him now!"

"I'm on it!" Rito said, finally getting his wits about him as he turned on the suction. "Smile, you sick son of a taint!"

"No! NOOOO! I won't go! I won't go!" Panicked Grand-Principal, waving his arms around fruitlessly as the Poltergust stayed true to its hold. "Please! If you let me go I'll give you my private collection! I have breast bands and panties of all sizes! I can give you some good stuff!"

"People like you," Grunted Rito as he struggled to keep his hold on the Poltergust. "Are better off dead!" He shouted as he gave one final heave, and Grand-Principal was pulled entirely into the Poltergust. "Alright then, I've caught him." Suddenly, the Poltergust began to shake violently. "Wait a second! I've caught him, right? So why is he still fighting?"

"That's not fighting," Oshizu corrected Rito calmly. "That's the backlash of energy from the pentagram. Without a wandering spirit to anchor it, it's trying to escape to a new host."

"What are we going to do with it then?" Tearju panicked. "I don't want to have to go through that again!"

"We don't have to," Oshizu said calmly as she stood in front of Rito. "Okay Rito, I'm going to give you instructions on what to do, and I want you to do them quick, otherwise we'll have to go through all this again."

"Alright then! What do I do?" Rito asked as he used a hand to steady the Poltergust.

"Just switch the device to blow, and fire it at me." Oshizu told him. "The device has a filter and reinforcement to keep the ghost from getting out, but the power of the pentagram needs to be digested by a shaman, or else it can just find a new host."

"Digest it? You mean you're going to eat it?!" Panicked Rito, both disgusted and worried by the notion. "Are you sure you'll be okay? I mean, this used to be attached to the Principal's ancestor, and the people who cast it were obviously powerful! What's going to happen to you?"

"I'll just eat it and get stronger." Oshizu said calmly. "Such methods as this have been used to strengthen spiritual power for millennium. It's just like eating lunch to me. So please Rito, so I can get stronger, the seal can get weaker, and Haruna can wake up, fire the spell at me."

At the mention of Haruna's name, Rito realized that Oshizu's resolve to help her friend was just that strong. Not wanting to put that spirit to waste, Rito flipped the switch from suck to blow, and pressed the button on the nozzle. "OPEN WIDE!" He shouted as a blast of black energy fired from the opening towards Oshizu, the recoil pushing Rito back, but because Tearju and her huge boobs were there to act as a brace, he landed softly in her bosom.

"Itadakimasu." Said Oshizu gratefully as she opened her mouth wide, inhaling the struggling evil spell before it could run off. While powerful when fused with a host, and stronger still when used as part of a magic symbol, a spell without a channel was impossibly weak, and therefor easy prey to Oshizu. Swallowing once the spell was completely consumed, she let out a small burp. "Excuse me." She giggled behind her hand as Rito and Tearju managed to right themselves.

There was a long silence before anyone spoke again. "...So, you actually ate the whole thing, huh?" Rito wondered as he and Tearju approached Oshizu.

"Not the whole thing," Corrected Oshizu scholarly. "There are still four points left in the pentagram, and until I eat them all we won't be able to lift the curse on Haruna." Before she could continue, her stomach started rumbling. "Oh dear, that would be the part of the spell I ate digesting. The two of you may want to get behind something."

Rito, after having lived with aliens for over a year now, needed no other warning than that to grab Tearju, and hide behind a tree. No sooner did they manage to find shelter than did the sound of an explosion and a cloud of glittery dust fly around the tree. "Oshizu! Are you alright?!" Called Rito in worry as he peered out from behind the tree, and as the dust cleared, his worry turned into confusion, disgust, and then understanding in rapid succession. "Well, in hindsight I should have expected this." He shook his head as he and Tearju approached Oshizu. "After all, you did say that fat was the strength of the spirit."

"You're actually taking this better than I am, Rito." Oshizu remarked in concern as she poked her belly, which had bloated out even more. "I'm surprised the piece of the spell I ate was this rich in calories actually." Tugging on her arm flab, her eyes narrowed in scrutiny. "I'd say I've gained around 100 pounds from eating just that. The ones who cast the spell must have been absurdly powerful."

"Does that mean the masterminds are going to be really fat too?" Tearju wondered as she poked Oshizu, amazed and slightly disgusted that she'd put on so much weight in just on sitting.

"Maybe yes, maybe no." Oshizu shrugged. "Potential and natural power are two different things. Some spirits are naturally stronger without putting on too much weight, like how some people are stronger physically without getting really muscular. It really all depends on heritage, but some spirits have trained themselves to compact their fat into a skinnier body for aesthetic reasons."

"So, technically you could do the same?" Rito asked curiously.

"If I felt so inclined." Oshizu said as they began to leave the cemetery. "But like I've said before, I grew up in a time of famine, so being able to put on extra weight feels like an accomplishment for me, even in this new day and age. Besides, Sallem supplied me with clothes that will grow on me to fit any size comfortably." Rubbing the fabric of her uniform between her fingers to prove it, Rito could see that it wasn't just stretching to fit her, but actually still fit as comfortably as it did before her sudden weight gain.

Rito let out an impressed whistle. "As always, the things aliens have come up with never cease to amaze me. Overall though, right now I'm just glad that you're okay with this. I'd hate to see you unhappy Oshizu, after all, I'm sure Haruna wouldn't like it if you hurt yourself to help her."

"Thank you for worrying about me anyway, Rito." Oshizu said gratefully as she gave Rito a big blubbery hug. "After spending 400 years wandering around the area I died, with most people running the moment they saw me, it's a refreshing change of pace to see people care."

"Well, you have friends who care about you now." Rito reassured her as Tearju pulled them both into a group hug, placing Rito between some cushions and a soft place. "I'm just sad you didn't meet anybody sooner."

"I have now," Oshizu gasped for air once Tearju let them go. "If there's one thing I learned in all those years, its that there's always the now."

"Personally, I'm just glad nothing bad happened today," Tearju smiled before her face turned thoughtful. "Though I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something." Humming it over, she realized with a start what it was she forgot. "That's it!" She bounced in alarm. "Oshizu, where are you going to live? Ryouko told me you were living with her, but she sold her house to Zastin and moved into the subspace in Rito's closet with the rest of us!"

"So that's what she did with her house." Rito said whimsically, having wondered that same question but forgotten to ask.

"What?!" Panicked Oshizu, causing everything to fly around. Rito, Tearju, several small rocks, and a few garbage bags on the street were sent flying around. "B-B-But everything I owned was in that house! What happened to that? And more importantly, what's going to happen to me?! I suppose that I could go back to the old school building I was living in before, but it gets so lonely in there! And where is Haruna going to recover without the medical equipment there?!"

"Calm down, Oshizu!" Rito tried to settle her as he swam towards her in midair. "Remember what you said about fat being the strength of the spirit?! Well you need to settle down before you start tearing up the street with that new strength!" Latching his arms around her, he held tight even as his body flailed around. "Haruna's recovering at my place, and we can work something out for you too, but you have to calm down!"

"Calm... calm down," Oshizu breathed out as the torrent around her began to slow. "Right. Sorry, sometimes I get a little overexcited when I'm scared." The air around her began to settle. Rito slowly dropped to Oshizu's side, while Tearju landed on her rump. "It's just that I have some old issues with being homeless. I get worried if I don't know where I'll sleep safe from wild animals for the night."

"I can imagine where a concern like that would come from." Rito remarked in concern, Oshizu's offhand comment revealing a great deal about her likely past. "Things have progressed since 400 years ago though, and you've got friends who care about you. You just need to ask, and any one of us will let you stay with them, so don't worry about that."

"I'm so glad you think that way, Rito-sama." Ryouko remarked as she suddenly appeared, sneaking up behind the two and lifting them up in a bear hug.

"Ryouko? When did you get here?" Asked Rito in surprise as he and Oshizu did a double-take. "And why did you call me -sama just now?"

"I wanted to see what it felt like to call you that, Rito-sama." Ryouko smiled before she gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm trying to expand my horizons a bit."

"Rito-sama," Tearju tested the term on her tongue. "It feels a bit weird to be calling my boyfriend that."

"I won't insist on it." Rito told her, eyes shifting around the crowd they were drawing. "Ryouko, do you think you could let us down now?"

"Nope," Smiled Ryouko as she hoisted them under her arms and carried him and Oshizu off. "Calling you -sama is to test my feelings about M, while carrying the two of you all the way home like luggage is testing my feelings about S."

Though unsettled for a bit that Ryouko was getting into S&M, something else she said caught Rito's attention. "Taking us home? But Oshizu lives, I mean she used to live, I mean-" He was cut off as Tearju suddenly kissed him. "What?"

"It's so nice that you've offered to let Oshizu move in with us." Tearju smiled, not having payed attention to his confusion. "I was really worried for a second about where she'd go in this circumstance, since she is one of my students after all, but it's as you said. Friends always look out for each other."

Suddenly, Rito understood what Tearju and Ryouko were implying. Surprised that he had apparently volunteered himself to house Oshizu, he took it in stride, just like all the other recent adjustments to his life. "Well then, I guess this sort of makes us all roommates, doesn't it?" _'And if the usual pattern holds up, eventual lovers as well.'_ He tagged on mentally, not quite certain what he thought of the idea yet.

"Thank you so much for looking out for me, Rito." Oshizu said gratefully, not minding that she was being hauled around like luggage. "This actually works out very well, because I'm still trying to extend my mind over various areas of the city, to find the other four spirits in the pentagram are, and being somewhere I can get in contact with everyone immediately works out very well for this."

"Glad I could help," Rito said calmly, resigning himself to the implications this would have with everyone he knew. "And besides, the sooner we find all the ghosts, the sooner we can wake up Haruna."

"One down, four to go!" Oshizu pumped her fist energetically.

* * *

There we go! The first chapter in Volume 6! But before you all go on to reading something else, I just have something I'd like to say. I noticed recently that the number of characters you can tag to any given story has gone up to 4, and this actually makes things a lot more convenient for me. You see, I was originally planning to make a separate Omake one-shot for each extra addition to the harem after the main story, but because of this new ordering system, I can put three chapters to a story, with each character involved having their name put on the 'cover' of sorts. This way, instead of overcrowding my profile page with a bunch of related one-shot stories (which I really didn't want to do) I can be a bit more organized about it! Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!

Tonda Gossa!


	2. Take That Sports Manga!

It would seem that some of you still haven't gotten the picture, so I'll remind you again. I don't accept anonymous reviews, so please use your account if you want to say something. Anyway, now that we've got that out of the way, let's start reading!

* * *

**Monday Lunchtime - School Roof - With Rito and his harem  
**

The past few days since the capture of the first ghost in the pentagram had passed without incident. Many students had momentarily questioned how Oshizu had suddenly gained over 100 pounds in a day, but like many things as of late, they quickly accepted it as just another odd quirk that comes with having spirits and extraterrestrials in attendance at their school. At this moment however, the harem was gathered with interest around Oshizu, who was holding a pendulum over a map of the city with a look of concentration on her face.

"So what's Oshizu doing again?" Nana whispered to Yami.

"It's called dowsing," Yami explained quietly. "By holding a pendulum over a map a focusing on something very hard, it's supposed to point you to where the item person or place you're looking for is."

"Does it actually work that way?" Yui asked skeptically.

"This is Oshizu we're talking about," Hummed Ryouko thoughtfully. "If anyone we know could make something supernatural work, it'd be her."

"So this is how she found the first ghost." Tearju remarked with vested interest. "I have to admit that it's very intriguing. I just hope the second ghost isn't nearly as bad as the first." She uttered worriedly, her memories of The Grand-Principal still fresh in her mind.

"I wouldn't count on it," Momo warned her. "In every video game I've ever played, things only get harder the further along you get." Suddenly, her expression and tone changed from concerned to mischievous. "If the first ghost in the pentagram was that bad, just imagine how horrible the other four will be. And that's not even getting into the 3 ghosts haunting Rito."

"Momo, stop scaring people like that!" Yui hissed in warning as she bared her claws, Momo backing off immediately in response. Noticing that Tearju was shivering in fear, Yui held her shoulders steady. "It'll be okay, sensei. Momo just has a twisted sense of humor like that. I highly doubt things are going to get too much harder from here on out." She reassured her teacher, before sighing despondently. "Besides, I can't imagine something much worse than The Principal's ancestor. You've definitely already seen the worst of it."

"Could I please get some peace and quiet, already?!" Oshizu demanded somewhat irritably. "I get that you're all very curious about this. Who wouldn't be, really? But dowsing takes a great deal of concentration, so I can't have any interruptions while I'm doing it."

"Sorry Oshizu." Chorused everyone in unison, even Rito and Lala, who hadn't actually interrupted.

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Oshizu sighed tiredly. "...It's okay. I get that things have been kind of hectic lately-"

"Actually, by our standards, all of this stuff is quite normal." Rito told her awkwardly.

"You might have a point there." Oshizu said, equally awkward about the situation. "Anyway, regardless of anything else, my prime concern right now is removing the curse that's keeping Haruna in a coma. Everything else can wait until later."

"It's embarrassing for me to say this, but I haven't been nearly as proactive about waking her up as you have." Rito admitted sheepishly. "Mostly I've just been focusing on trying to live my life. I worry about Haruna all the time, but I really don't know how much I can help besides talking to her every day."

Staring at Rito with a small smile for a minute, Oshizu soon turned back to her dowsing. "Don't worry too much about it. Dwell only on what you can do, and not on what you can't. We'll get her back soon enough." No sooner had she said this, than did her pendulum start moving. "It's getting a signal!" She said excitedly as the pointed weight swung in a circle around the map three times, before being darting towards a spot on the map. "Quick! Does anybody know where that is?"

Staring at the spot in contemplation, Yui answered. "It's just a local football field. Nothing really major, just a rundown place where the local kids can play. I don't even think it's seen that much use these past few years."

"When the manga Eyeshield 21 finished its run, the number of football players in the country dropped severely." Yami stated, as if she were quoting the statistics straight from a cue card. Taking quick notice of the confused look her mother was giving her, the young living weapon shrugged. "People fluctuate with pop culture. When a sports manga gets popular, so does the sport it's based on, but when it ends, people quickly lose interest."

"That's not exactly what I was wondering, but thank you for explaining that anyway." Tearju said gratefully.

"But what did the three circles around the map mean?" Nana wondered, recalling the motion of the pendulum. "Was it just searching, or did it have some bigger meaning?"

"In games, things like that usually connect to danger level." Momo said, not really having much basis for her thought. "Like, maybe that first ghost was only Level 1, and this new one is Level 3."

"Don't even joke about something like that!" Panicked Tearju, hiding behind Yami as she did so. "I'm sorry for this Yami, but you're so much stronger than I am."

"Don't worry about it." Yami muttered as she nonchalantly continued eating.

"It's actually connected to time," Oshizu explained. "One rotation means one day. So this means that three days from now, the spirit will have to surface, and we can catch it then."

"But what does time have to do with it?" Lala asked between bites. "Couldn't we just catch it now?"

"It doesn't work like that." Oshizu told them. "Ghosts can go into hibernation for days, or even weeks if they're strong enough. During that time, they're between dimensions, and nothing we try will be able to get them out. However, it's sort of like holding your breath underwater. No matter how much effort you put into it, you have to surface eventually, and that's when we can catch them."

"So we just have to wait for three days then?" Rito summarized succinctly.

"There's that," Oshizu began. "And also the investigation we'll need to do. We don't know who we'll be up against, so it'd be best if at least a few of us investigated any local rumors about ghosts surrounding that football field. It was a lot easier with the Principal's ancestor, since the grave was clearly marked, but all we have to work with this time is a location."

"So we're going to be detectives?" Yami remarked curiously, secretly fantasizing herself dressed as Sherlock Holmes.

"That's what it sounds like," Yui nodded before chowing down on her seafood-heavy lunch. "And we're going to have to do this four times?"

"If we want to catch all these ghosts, then yes." Ryouko smiled as she practically inhaled her protein and carbohydrate heavy meal. "Truth be told, this actually sounds pretty damn exciting to me."

"So we know what we have to do then." Rito remarked, his eyes narrowed in determination. "After school today, and for the next two days, we'll dig up everything we can about that football field. For Haruna."

"For Haruna." Nodded Oshizu in agreement, sharing Rito's drive.

* * *

**Tuesday Evening - Football Field - With Rito, Oshizu, and Lala.  
**

"Alright now," Began Rito steadily, the sun beginning to lower over the horizon. "Just like yesterday, we've split up into three teams, and we still have next to nothing about any ghosts rumors about this place." Truth be told, Rito was beginning to have some doubts about things. They'd been at this for two days now, and their deadline for preparing was fast approaching. If they didn't get anything soon, they'd be going in next to blind.

"It's a shame we can't figure anything out," Lala sighed despondently. "If there's a ghost around here that nobody remembers, the ghost must be feeling so sad, don't you think?"

"What are you talking about, Lala?" Rito asked curiously.

"She means that the spirit must be very lonely." Oshizu explained morosely. "Just think about it, seeing people pass you by, none of them having any knowledge of your existence, just the same quiet routine everyday. It gets very lonely."

"We're not talking about the ghost at this football field anymore, are we?" Rito remarked, looking at Oshizu with sympathetic eyes.

Shaking her head, Oshizu says, "It's nothing big. Don't worry too much about it. Anyway, we need to keep looking for information on any ghosts in the area." As she tried to walk away, Rito grabbed her by the sleeve of her shirt.

"Oshizu," Rito began steadily, his eyes locked on hers. "It's okay to let your friends help you with these things. You're not alone anymore."

Hearing Rito say that, Oshizu averted her eyes to the ground. The silence between the three continued for an entire minute before she spoke again. "It's just... when I died, there was so much suffering going on around me that I felt I shouldn't bother anyone... One year lead into the next, things didn't get much better, I went into hiding for a while, waiting to pass on... I guess... eventually I just got so used to being alone, that I'd forgotten what it was like to be with people. What it was like to have friends."

"You have friends now," Rito reassured her, Lala nodding in agreement. "I know it can't entirely make up for all the years you spent alone, but at the very least we can ease the pain you've felt all these years. Remember Oshizu, you never have to be alone again if you don't feel like it, we'll make sure of that."

Oshizu stared at Rito in awe, a deep red color slowly staining her face. Jumping to attention in a fluster, she quickly turned around, making sure her back was to Rito. _'That was too close!'_ She panicked mentally. _'I'm beginning to see just why Rito's so popular. Too much more of that, and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out! But I have to stay strong, for Haruna's sake!'_

_'It's definitely happening again.'_ Rito thought as his eyebrow twitched in exasperation. _'Why are things like this too easy for my liking? Am I just too nice? Have I found some kind of eternal secret that most men would kill for? Whatever it is, I really need to watch myself from now on.'_

"Hey there everybody." Yui said tiredly as she and Ryouko approached. "Did you guys have any luck today?" Receiving nothing but shaking heads in response, she sighed. "Neither did we. Honestly, I know this is all a long shot, but you'd think at least one person in the area would remember something about somebody dieing at this football field." Glaring over at the several groups of cheerleaders using this place for practice, she continued. "I blame those girls. Everyone who comes here these days is more focused on them than anything else. This place can't even be called a football field anymore, it's just a place for pep rallies to meet and guys to spy on all these girls flipping around."

"It's like events are conspiring to make things as hard for us as possible." Mused Ryouko. "Hey Rito, you're the detective here, have you got any ideas?"

"Since when have I been a detective?" Rito remarked.

"People have been calling you one for a while, so I just figured you had some natural affinity for it." Ryouko shrugged.

After thinking on it for a minute, Rito realized that people had been labeling him as such lately. "Well, that does seem to be a pattern as of late, doesn't it?" He admitted awkwardly. Rubbing his chin in contemplation, he continued. "Well, I had been wondering exactly how recently the ghost had arrived here, whether it died here, or had immigrated from somewhere else. Things like that mostly. After yesterday turned up pretty much nothing, I told Yami and Tearju to check out the internet for any articles or records about any deaths in this area for the past 50 years." Taking notice of the stunned looks everyone was giving him, Rito let his words reflect inward. "I guess I do seem to have some talent for investigation, after all." He noted sheepishly.

"Say that after you do the research yourself." Yami said, having walked up next to Rito without being noticed.

"Gah!" Startled Rito at the sudden appearance of his loli girlfriend. "Exactly how long have you been there?" He asked, a slight underlying trace of jitters in his voice.

"Long enough," Yami answered as her mother Tearju walked in behind her, panting slightly as she did so. "I printed off any information on the subject of this area you may find useful." She said as she handed him a sizable stack of papers.

"And I put it all in chronological order." Tearju added as she tried to catch her breath. "It's not much, but I hope you find it useful."

"Are you alright, Tearju?" Rito asked in concern. "You look pretty worn out."

"That's because she has to lug those around." Yami muttered enviously as she glared at Tearju's epic boobs and hips, patting her own chest self-consciously as she did so.

"Did you say something, Yami?" Tearju asked as she straightened up, bouncing as she did so.

"...No." Yami deadpanned with a glare, climbing piggyback onto Rito after saying so.

"Don't worry, Yami." Rito reassured her silently, noticing her pout for what it was. "You're still growing, so don't worry too much about it."

Feeling better at his words, the corners of Yami's lips upturned slightly as she nestled in the crook between her boyfriend's shoulder and neck. "I'm still going to stay like this until we get home." She said with a slight tease in her voice, prompting a minor facefault from Rito.

_'Well, it was worth a try.'_ Rito sighed mentally. "C'mon everybody! Nana and Momo should be done at the mall with Mea by now, so let's go home to meet up with them for dinner." At his prompting, everyone followed him, beginning a very long, exhausting, and awkward trip home.

* * *

**Later - Yuuki Household  
**

"Rito, no homework at the table." Mikan chided her brother as she yanked a list of obituaries connected to the area of the football field from his hands.

"Mikan, it's not actually homework," Rito pleaded awkwardly. "It's really a list of potential ghosts haunting the football field. I need to look through that and 18 more pages if we're ever gonna wake Haruna up."

"Then you can do that after a nice family dinner," Mikan said sagely, before her expression turned slightly sour. "Even though our definition of family is rather different from most." She added as she noted the copious amount of odd women at the table. Amazonian Ryouko, Catgirl Yui, Exaggerated Hourglass Tearju, Conjoined Nana and Momo, Obese Oshizu, and Amputee Mea (who was only visiting, but it still counted). Aside from them, Celine was a plant girl, Lala was an alien, Peke was a costume robot, Yami was a former assassin, and Mikan found herself considering those four normal in comparison. But the weirdest had to be her brother, who somehow managed to draw all of these people into their house. With a glare at Rito, she whacked him on the head with a frying pan.

"What did I do?" Rito groaned in pain as he rubbed his head.

"Nothing," Mikan frowned, obviously lying, but about what, Rito couldn't quite tell. "I just felt like whacking you."

"Can I try whacking him?" Mea asked eagerly, planning to use a lethal amount of force.

"I'd really rather you didn't." Rito panicked slightly. "Head injuries aren't something to be taken lightly. You could really hurt someone like that, and I think you know better than most what injury is like." He said, glancing at the spot where her left arm used to be.

Mea's remaining arm tensed up at the remark, but with a pout she let the moment pass, knowing that his argument was completely sound. That, and she didn't want to anger the Cortez siblings again.

"Humans are surprisingly resilient." Yami countered between bites. "No matter what I do to The Principal, he always recovers." It went unsaid but was completely obvious that she'd rather he didn't recover.

"I really don't think that man's the best example of a typical human." Tearju said from her place away from the table. Given the size of her breasts, Tearju couldn't pull up close to the table, and instead balanced all her food and tableware on her boobs.

Yami pouted at her mother, before using her powers to increase the volume of her own figure to that of a regular super model, and change clothes into a bikini.

"Someone's being quite transparent today." Ryouko joked at Yami's antics, before she took a more sincere tone. "Don't worry, Yami. No matter what you look like, everyone here will still love and accept you as you are."

"She's right you know." Rito reassured her. "It's weird for me to say this, especially given cultural values, but I love you just as much as the rest of the girls here." Not immediately realizing that his words came out wrong, Rito kept smiling as Mikan, Mea, Oshizu, and even Peke started blushing vividly. However, his brain quickly caught up with his mouth as he became somewhat frantic. "Of course, I'm only talking about the girls in my harem, not that I don't care about all you girls, it's just not like that, what I mean to say is-"

"Stop right now, Rito." Mikan uttered, a dangerous aura surrounding her. "Or I might have to go all out next time."

"Understood." Rito agreed immediately.

_'How does he do it?'_ Oshizu thought in embarrassment. _'Just a few words and he makes me feel all fuzzy inside. I can see why Haruna likes him so much.'_

_'Even though he just misspoke, even though I know that, even though I'm a robot, hearing him say that just ties my circuits up in knots.'_ Peke flustered, heating up and giving Lala a warm sensation in her hair.

_'What is this feeling?'_ Mea contemplated. _'I've spied on Yami-onee-chan with that man and the others enough to know they usually get ecchi when he says something like that. I'll admit I've been curious as to what they find so enjoyable, but could I... with him? I don't want a connection with him, but maybe I could just take what I want before ending him.' _However, as she thought this, an image of Sallem worked its way into her memory and sent her into a shivering fit_._

_'Why did I have to fall in love with my brother of all people?' _Mikan scowled at Rito. _'I shudder to think what our kids would be like, not even counting the inbreeding.'_

_'Something tells me my troubles are just beginning.' _Rito thought as he noticed the odd looks he was getting from all the girls right now, aside from Celine, who was currently enjoying a slice of pizza.

* * *

**Wednesday 7:32 - Royal Tree Subspace - With Rito.  
**

"There's so much of this stuff to go through," Rito sighed in exhaustion as he browsed through the paperwork Yami and Tearju had gathered yesterday. "A lot of this stuff seems somewhat promising, but none of the recent deaths so far seem like the kind of people to have enough regrets to get involved with a curse like this, and some of the older ones, while somewhat promising, are too old to likely be around still." Leaning back in his chair, he sighed again. "I need something to distract me for a bit."

"Rito-dono, a word if you don't mind!" Zastin asked, having suddenly intruded in Rito's space.

_'It never fails,'_ Rito shook his head in amusement. "What's going on, Zastin?"

"I want your opinion on a one-shot I'm working on." The master swordsman turned manga-ka requested as he held out a small stack of draft papers. "I've been working on it in my spare time, and I really think I have something. However, I wanted to get the opinion of someone from my target audience before I submit it."

"I'd be happy to give it a once over for you," Rito complied as he took the script. "Truth be told, I could use something to sidetrack me right about now."

The manga wasn't anything too out of the ordinary. Nice-boy-meets-aggressive-girl, bullies get involved, their leader tries to make the girl his woman, and the girl turns out to be a high-level miko and kicks his ass. In the end, the nice guy wins over the girl, and the bully swears revenge, leaving it open for a potential series, but that's not what really caught Rito's attention. What he noticed most was how the male lead didn't mind having his girlfriend be above him, whereas the bully took a misogynistic offense to a girl being stronger than him, believing that a woman's place was below men.

"Where have I seen this before?" Rito hummed as he took a second look at the recent deaths in the area around the football field he and his harem had been investigating.

"Does it really seem that unoriginal?" Zastin asked worriedly, believing that Rito was referring to another manga. "I realize that many plots are a dime-a-dozen, but it's hard coming up with new stuff."

"No, no, it's not your manga I'm talking about," Rito corrected him as he continued digging through his paperwork. "Well, it kind of is, but not in the way you were thinking. Anyway, it's good, no question of that, but what I was talking about is... Ha!" He exclaimed in joy as he pulled out a particular file. "This is what I was looking for!"

"I'm not quite sure what happened, but your burning passion for whatever it is you're doing is inspiring!" Zastin said enthusiastically. "It's fired me up to be the best manga-ka I can be!"

"Zastin!" Rito said loudly, startling the Devilukian. "While I'm on a roll here, do you think you could get me in contact with Lala's dad?"

"Gid-sama?" Zastin blinked in confusion. "Of course I could contact him, but my monthly report isn't until Saturday."

"That's fine," Rito said as he rifled through the file he'd selected. "I've got to get my questions in order until then."

"Questions?" Zastin tilted his head in confusion. "Pardon me for asking this Rito-dono, but what exactly do you want to discuss with King Deviluke?"

"A side project I'm working on." Rito answered, not elaborating any further. "Just something that's been on my mind for a while."

"Very well, Rito-dono." Zastin nodded. "I can see you're hard at work following your aspirations as a detective, just as I'm following my passion as a manga-ka! Let's both aim for the stars of our professions like men!" He fired himself up as he rushed out the door. "I SHALL BE THE MANGA-KA SUPREME!"

"Yeah... you do that, I suppose." Rito remarked, _'Even if you have completely lost track of your reason for being here in the first place.'_ He added mentally, his eyebrow twitching as he got back to work and planning.

* * *

**Thursday 6:34 - Football Field - With Rito, Oshizu, Peke, and Ryouko  
**

"So," Moaned Ryouko as she stretched out. "Remind me again of why you brought me and Peke out here?"

"I never mentioned why I asked you here in the first place, remember?" Rito smiled as he checked the settings on the Poltergust to make sure everything was working properly.

Ryouko hummed in contemplation for a moment. "Oh yeah, I must have spaced out a bit while doing some light lifting." She said as she gestured to some 70kg free weights.

"Pardon me for asking, but exactly where would that qualify as light lifting, sensei?" Oshizu asked nervously, suddenly as uncomfortably aware of Ryouko's inhuman strength as Rito.

"That doesn't matter for the moment." Rito said calmly. "Peke, did you scan the outfit I asked you to?"

"Of course, Rito-dono." Peke nodded, having taken her humanoid form for the sake of appearances. _'Anything for you.'_ She added as an afterthought.

"Good, then I need you to suit up Ryouko." Rito requested. "And make sure no one can tell her gender."

Peke hesitated, "...That's a very odd request, Rito-dono. But I suppose you have a plan for this." She jumped into the air and somersaulted above Ryouko's head. "Dress-Form!" She cried as she attached herself to the Amazonian nurse, changing her outfit into a white and blue football uniform with the number 69 on it, and Peke's trademark swirling eyes on the helmet. True to Rito's request, the padding and helmet completely concealed Ryouko's feminine features.

"Is this really necessary, Rito?" Moaned Ryouko in agony as she struggled to adjust her clothes. "This outfit is way too tight on my boobs. They need to breath if they're gonna stay healthy."

"Your boobs are fine, Ryouko." Rito assured her. "It's just that we need you to pass as a man for a moment." He explained as he walked over to the field goal.

"Do I really look that much like a man now?" Ryouko pouted behind her helmet. "I thought you liked me this way."

"Uhh," Panicked Rito. "Of course I like you that way! I'd like you any way you are, no matter what you look like!"

"So you'd even like me if I got pregnant?" Ryouko teased as she rubbed her abs.

Rito gulped as he backed up. "What are you saying, Ryouko?"

Ryouko stared at him for several seconds, letting him sweat it out before saying, "Nothing yet," Rito fell over. "But try to think about it for a while. As beautiful as I am, I'm not getting any younger, so please consider knocking me up soon."

"Right," Rito sweatdropped as he got up and started walking to the goals again. _'That woman's gonna be the death of me someday.'_ Setting thoughts of parenthood aside for the moment, Rito placed his hand on the field goal, and just like how it went with the grave of the Grand-Principal, the post began shaking.

"WOOOOAAAHHH!" Cried out the goal post. "LET'S DO THIS WITH GUTS!" Shouted the ghost as it appeared from the goal in a mushroom shaped explosion. He was a tall and muscular football player in a green and black uniform with the number 24 on it.

"Just as I figured," Rito remarked calmly as he pulled out a file. "Name: Goshuro Nakamori. Age of Death: 18. You were a big football fan about 30 years ago, but that proved to be your own undoing when you took your training too far, caused permanent internal damage to your legs, and when you refused to stop playing due to your injuries, you caused several blood vessels in your legs to rupture during a game, causing you to die from internal bleeding before the medics arrived."

"You seem to know a few things about me tiny man!" Goshuro yelled boastfully. "I guess even after all these years, my reputation still precedes me! HAHAHAHAHA!" While the ghost was occupying himself with laughter, Rito calmly walked over to Ryouko and whispered something in her ear.

"Are you sure that will work?" Ryouko asked.

"Trust me." Rito assured her with a pat on the shoulder before hiding behind her.

"Alright then." Ryouko smiled before pointing at the football ghost.

"I've never heard of you, loser!" Rito shouted in an obviously fake deep voice, making it look like Ryouko had just insulted the ghost.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Shouted Goshuro in a rage. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WAS THE GREATEST FOOTBALL PLAYER IN THE ENTIRE DISTRICT - NO, THE ENTIRE CITY - NO, THE ENTIRE COUNTRY - NO, THE ENTIRE WORLD! I'LL NOT BE SPOKEN DOWN TO BY AN AMATEUR!"

"He really thinks highly of himself, doesn't he?" Ryouko whispered to Rito as the ghost continued to rant.

"Just keep the act up for a little while longer, Ryouko." Rito pleaded.

"Only if you make it worth my while," Ryouko insisted. "This guy is starting to creep me out."

Rito sighed. This was no time to argue, so he was left with little choice. "Fine, but you have to play along for just a little longer, okay?"

"Then it's a date." Smiled Ryouko as she turned back to the ghost.

"If you're really so great, then prove it to me firsthand!" Rito spoke for Ryouko again. "You and me! One on one! A match to see who's the strongest and fastest!"

"Do I really have to do that?" Ryouko whispered to Rito.

"Please just bear with it." Pleaded Rito apologetically.

"SO IT'S A CONTEST YOU WANT, IS IT?!" Goshuro shouted eagerly. "ALRIGHT THEN! IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO KNOW THIS, BUT I WAS THE GREATEST LINEBACKER ON MY TEAM BACK WHEN I WAS ALIVE!" Floating to the center of the field in front of Ryouko, he crouched down on his hands and tail. "ASSUME THE POSITION, AND LET'S TACKLE!"

Staring at him in exasperation, Ryouko turned around to whisper to Rito. When she turned back around, Rito said this for her. "I don't need to waste my all on a low level punk like you. This will be enough to teach you your place."

_'I can't believe I just said that.' _Rito thought to himself.

Goshuro humphed. "So, you think you're man enough to fight me, the greatest linebacker of all time, with such a weak stance?" Charging forward, he said, "Don't make me laugh!"

However, his boasting proved to be for nothing, as no matter how much he struggled (and he struggled a lot) Ryouko didn't budge an inch, or even really acknowledge his presence. After letting this go on for a few seconds, Ryouko quickly got bored, grabbed Goshuro by the scruff of his uniform, and sent him flying halfway down the field.

"Are we done here yet?" Ryouko whispered to Rito as Goshuro lay flat on his back as a background gag, still reeling from losing so badly. "I want to go home and plan out which lingerie to wear on our date tomorrow."

"Exactly what kind of date are you planning?" Rito asked Ryouko casually as Goshuro began to get up in an overly dramatic way with a long winded speech about not giving up.

"I wanna start things out with a detective movie," Ryouko listed as Goshuro crouched on a ghostly knee, still continuing his monologue gag. "After that, there's this place called Noodle's I've been meaning to check out for a while now, and I thought we could finish off the night with some one-on-one time in the bedroom."

"Alright then, just please finish things up here first." Rito agreed as Goshuro finally stopped yammering like a sports manga parody and floated towards Ryouko again.

"-so in conclusion," Goshuro said as if the ghost hunting trio had been paying attention the whole time, which, to his overinflated ego, he assumed they were. "You may have beaten me in strength, but all that useless muscle mass will slow you down in a sprinting match against ME, THE GREATEST RUNNING BACK IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"

"I thought he said he was the greatest linebacker in the whole world." Ryouko whispered to Rito and Oshizu as Goshuro began another rant.

"He doesn't seem to be all that bright, does he?" Oshizu replied in embarrassment at how lame Goshuro was.

"Just outrun him and then take off Peke so we can shock him into revealing his weak point, capture him, and then go home to sleep and forget this whole embarrassing affair." Rito sighed despondently.

"That reminds me, why did I have to disguise Ryouko?" Peke asked, everyone still ignoring Goshuro to the best of their abilities.

"Because Goshuro's obituary says that he was a complete misogynist," Rito answered as he pulled out his file. "And accounts from his friends say that this stemmed from constantly being beaten up by his little sister, who was a karate prodigy. In-spite of mountains of evidence he experienced to the contrary, he firmly believes that women are incompetent, and unable to do anything but cook, clean, and make babies."

"Okay, now I'm really gonna annihilate him." Ryouko scowled as Goshuro got into a running position and demanded a starting signal. "I'm gonna give this guy a hard lesson in girl power." After saying this, she casually strode up next to Goshuro and stood straight upright, waiting for her boyfriend's signal.

"She's gonna completely break his spirit," Sighed Rito. "But I guess he's brought this on himself. On your mark... Get set... GO!" At his signal, Goshuro took of running/floating towards the goalpost, while Ryouko stood there casually until he reached the 20 yard line, at which point she took off like a bullet, and made it all the way to the goal zone before Goshuro even made it to the 10 yard line. "She really showed no mercy." Rito shook his head as he and Oshizu walked over to the goal, where Ryouko stood calmly and Goshuro had collapsed on his knees in defeat.

"I lost," Goshuro cried onto the ground. "I can't believe the great Ore-sama lost... Hahahaha!" He exploded into laughter as he stood up. "I see! I see! Truly, I've lost to a real man among men!" Holding out his hand to Ryouko in anticipation of a handshake, he continued. "Tell me sir, what is the name of the superman who managed to beat me? The greatest football player of all time?"

"Ryouko Mikado," Ryouko said angrily as Peke removed herself from Ryouko, leaving her in her usual doctor garb. "And I'm a woman."

Goshuro didn't say or do anything for several seconds. He just floated silent as a statue for several seconds as he broke out in a cold sweat. "EEEEEEEEHHHHHH!" He finally exploded in shock and outrage, not even noticing that Rito had drawn him into the Poltergust when he wasn't looking.

"That was actually pretty pathetic." Oshizu commented as Rito got into position to empty the curse energy. "I know that the ghosts for the spell need to be placed in a pentagram around the city for it to work properly, but I really think that the people responsible for making the curse could have done better."

"That depends, would you wanna live anywhere near that guy?" Rito asked as he switched the Poltergust to blow, and fired the curse energy at Oshizu, who proceeded to eat it. "Most likely, the people responsible for this had to settle for this guy, in order to get the best guys they could in other areas."

"In what universe is The Principal's ancestor the best option?" Ryouko asked as Oshizu metabolized the energy into fat. "Okay, I get that he's tenacious, but aside from that, the three girls behind this must have found working with him intolerable."

"I guess they just want to avoid Sallem's anger that much," Oshizu said as she pat her now much larger belly. "That meal had over 100 more pounds in it, so they must be really desperate."

"Speaking of which, are you really okay with putting on this much weight?" Rito asked as he felt her arm flab, which was getting quite large around. "I mean, how much do you weigh now anyway?"

"My estimate is around 450 pounds," Oshizu said as she hoisted her belly flab in her arms. "By the time we capture all the ghosts in the pentagram, I'll probably weigh more than 800 pounds, and that's not even taking into account how much fatter I'll get when I remove the main portion of the curse from Haruna's body."

"Well, that might be a serious problem," Ryouko said as she squeezed Rito and Oshizu into a group hug. "Normally only real weirdos are interested in fat girls, so it'll become a nightmare to find a good boyfriend." As she said this, she pulled Rito into her bosom.

"Ryouko, what are you planning?" Rito asked from his booby prison.

"That's quite alright," Oshizu assured Ryouko as she tried and failed to escape her grip. "I'm really not interested in dating anybody."

"You'll change you mind eventually," Ryouko assured her as she let her and Rito go. "And when you do, feel free to come to Rito," She said with a firm slap to his back, giving him an instant sore spot in his shoulder. "He's already got a harem of freaks, so you know he's not one to judge." The moment she said this, Oshizu burst out into a blush and Rito sighed.

_'What is going on here?!'_ Panicked Oshizu. _'Why does just the thought of being next to Rito make me all dizzy inside?'_

_'I'm really starting to hate being right all the time now.'_ Rito sighed mentally. _'Exactly how many more girls are going to be added before it's done?'_

* * *

Finally! This chapter was an absolute BITCH to churn out. Oh well, at least it's finally done now. On the downside, this means I've still got three chapters, an Epilogue, and several Omake to make. This is gonna be a nightmare. Oh well, stay tuned for more of this stuff you've somehow come to love.

Tonda Gossa!


	3. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Let my nightmare continue. Here's Chapter 3 of Volume 6. Also, many thanks to those of you who encourage me to give it my all, in-spite of it taking so long to churn this stuff out. Also, I've put up another poll on my profile, so be sure to go and vote.

* * *

**Friday 4:13 - Royal Tree Subspace - With Rito's Harem (and Haremettes to be)  
**

"What should I wear, I wonder?" Ryoko thought as she rifled through her closet in black lace underwear and lab coat. "It's not often I get one-on-one time with Rito these days, and I really wanna make it a night he'll never forget." Sighing as she set down yet another one of her shirts, she crossed her arms under her bosom in contemplation. "Being one of several concubines has both it advantages, and disadvantages I suppose. The downside is I'm so used to a group, that I don't really know what to do when we're alone. And the upside is..." She paused with a hum. "Everything else about the concept." She concluded in 100% seriousness, before sighing again. "But that still doesn't solve my outfit dilemma."

"Maybe I could be of some help, Ryoko." Peke offered, walking up to her, as she was trying to get used to using her humanoid form on a regular basis. "I've been programed to coordinate colors and styles, after all. Just tell me what kind of outfit you want, and I'll find for you, or if need be, transform into it." She explained, secretly hoping Ryoko would take her up on the offer to bring her along.

"I'm not entirely certain you could keep up with my taste in clothing, Peke." Ryoko declined politely. "I really want to make Rito drool over me tonight, so I'm gonna need one of the sexiest outfits I can find," Pausing to think again and feel her boobs, she added, "Maybe even flat out slutty. Do you think he'd like that?"

"Ryoko!" Outburst Yui. "Have some modesty, why don't you? Honestly, how do you think people would react to that kind of this? And what if someone from school saw? Do you know what kind of rumors would spread?"

"But you've seen the kind of swimsuits I wear," Ryoko argued as she held a miniskirt up to the mirror in contemplation. "And everyone at school already knows I'm in Rito's harem."

"She poses a very good argument," Momo granted her as she rubbed a kink out from between her head and Nana's. '_Besides, it'll help Rito get more in touch with his erotic side.' _She added mentally with overexcited glee, until Nana pinching her face brought her out of it.

"You do remember I can feel it when you're getting horny now, right?" Nana scolded her sister with a death glare. "There's a time and a place for these things, and now and here are neither."

"Maybe you could try cosplay?" Yami suggested, surprising everyone into stunned silence, more from hearing the suggestion from her mouth than the suggestion itself.

Tearju was the first to regain her senses. "Excuse me," She began. "But what exactly is cosplay?" At this, everyone moved their stares to her.

Mea, who'd been invited by Nana to hang out, voiced her thoughts as well. "I've been wondering that too," She said. "I've heard a lot of people at school mention it, but I have no idea what it is."

"It's when you dress up in costumes from anime," Lala explained. "Peke, do you think you could turn into an example."

"Right away, Lala-sama." Peke nodded as she began her transformation, but stopped short when Ryoko grabbed her shoulder.

"Actually Peke," Ryoko smiled slyly. "Do you think you could transform into something for me instead? All this talk of cosplay and sex appeal has given me an idea."

* * *

**4:31 - Movie Theater - With Rito and Ryoko **

"So, remind me again what's going on here." Rito asked as Ryoko bought the tickets from a very flustered employee.

"Yami suggested that I dress-up a little today." Ryoko answered while they walked to their movie. "One thing led to another, and I decided that dressing up as a manga sex symbol would be the best way to go today. Do you like?" She winked playfully.

"It certainly has its appeal," Rito agreed, taking notice of the generous amount of cleavage shown by her barely zipped purple leather vest. "So who exactly are you dressed as anyway?"

"Nico Robin, from One Piece." Ryoko answered as she lowered her shades over her eyes. "Thank goodness Peke agreed to dress me today, otherwise I'd be stuck dressing as Revy from Black Lagoon, since that's the only character I could make an outfit from with the clothes I already have."

"Think nothing of it, Ryoko." Peke said from he position atop the amazonian woman's head as they entered the theater. "This is what I was designed for, after all." _'Not to mention this makes me feel like I'm on a date with Rito too.' _ She thought happily.

"I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, Rito." Ryoko cooed as she picked out a seat for herself, before picking up her date and setting him in her lap. "This is one of my favorite theaters, since every Friday night is classic movie night."

"Any particular reason I'm sitting on your lap?" Rito asked sarcastically.

"Oh, you know how I like to cuddle." Ryoko smiled as she pulled him as close to her body as possible, nestling his head between her bosom. "Now just sit back, relax, and enjoy the movie and soft leather upholstery."

Chuckling quietly at Ryoko's joke, Rito followed her advice.

* * *

**6:21 - Noodles & Company - With Many People  
**

"I thought I explained to everyone that this was my night with Rito." Ryoko scolded the apologetic haremettes sitting seiza style. "So would each of you mind explaining exactly what you were all doing spying on us?"

"I just arrived here by coincidence." Oshizu explained. "I didn't know you were planning to come here tonight."

"I was just following Yami," Tearju excused herself as she fidgeted, fighting to get her massive posterior into a comfortable position. "There's been an increase in the crime rate lately, and I was worried about her being out alone at night."

Yami gave her mother a withering look, leaving an unsaid remark about how fully capable she was of handling herself. "I was just across the street at the bookstore." She said. "I was just leaving when the two of you arrived here. If I had really wanted to spy on you, you wouldn't have noticed me at all."

"I have to make sure you two don't do anything embarrassing." Yui huffed, her red cheeks an obvious sign of her lying. "Harem or no, curse or not, Rito is still the most accident prone person I've ever met, so I'm just making sure you two don't have sex by accident or something." Everyone's eyes were instantly on her, each with varying levels of disappointment at how poor the excuse was. "Oh come on, it's not like it hasn't happened before." Just as suddenly as their stares started, they stopped, nobody having any way to contest that argument.

"Wait a second!" Nana panicked. "What happened by accident, when?"

"That's certainly far beyond your usual luck," Momo literally drooled, her face red and her breath heavy. "Where exactly was I when this happened?"

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, you dog." Nana scolded as she yanked on Momo's nose, snapping her out of her trance.

Mea meanwhile, was just staring dumbfounded at Rito, her curiosity about him and what makes him so special rising. If Rito could have sex by accident, what could he do on purpose? Thoughts of what he could potentially do to her body, even if she were on guard, suddenly flooded her mind and made her get completely red-faced and excited. Mea had never had any personal sexual experiences, but she did have at least a cursory level of knowledge on sex. And target or no, the idea of being violated by Rito, who was somehow deemed worthy by her sister and several other females, was beginning to get her very horny.

"Everyone else was gone, so I got lonely." Lala pouted. "So I tracked Run with my inventions."

"I didn't even know you were going out tonight," Run protested, glaring at Ryoko with envy. "I've been so busy with work lately that I haven't had any time to spend with Rito." She said with a cutesy pout at Rito.

Ryoko blinked in confusion at Run for several seconds. "I forget, is she already in the harem?" She asked Rito. "I mean, her feelings are obviously there, but you haven't said anything about her, and we haven't seen her lately, so I don't know the ruling on that."

"Why are you asking that like it's some kind of sport?" Run asked in stunned surprise.

"I don't think now's the best time to determine that." Rito answered awkwardly. "Not to mention that I think we're losing track of our original plan here."

"Oh yeah," Nodded Ryoko as her eyes drifted back to the kneeling squad of girls. Before she could say anything though, all of their stomachs let out a growl. "...Well, since it's dinnertime already, why don't we settle this dispute after eating." She said awkwardly, especially since her stomach was the loudest one of the bunch.

"I'll sit next to Rito!" Run declared as she latched onto his left arm.

"Don't just decide things like that by yourself!" Protested Nana as she tried to grab onto Rito's other arm, only for Momo to hold her back. "What do you think you're doing?" She hissed at her body mate.

"What?" Momo asked, feigning innocence, quite badly at that. "I'm just making sure that Run and Mea each get a fair chance."

"Mea?" Nana parroted curiously. "What do you mean..?" She stopped short when she saw that her amputee friend had grabbed onto Rito's right arm when she wasn't looking.

"Why don't we all order before we work out the seating arrangements." Rito requested, the gaggle of women interested in him surrounding him making him rather nervous.

After all their orders were placed to a very unnerved cashier, they gathered up three tables in a line and began their argument over their seats all over again.

"I'm just saying," Ryoko smirked as she held fast to Rito in her lap at the head of the table. "Out of all of us, I'm the only one with the right build to serve as Rito's cushion."

"What I'm asking is, why does Rito even need someone to serve as his seat?" Yui scowled at Ryoko. "Public and private are two entirely different affairs."

"I could do a fine job as a seat too," Run insisted as she held Rito's right hand into her bosom. "You can sit on me whenever you want."

"Not gonna lie, that sounds creepy." Nana said as Momo fantasized about S&M Play. "And just what do you seem so happy about?"

"Nothing," Momo lied as her hand twitched towards her tail. "By the way, why are we sitting so far from Rito?" She remarked on their seat being two seats down from Rito.

"Because I know you," Nana answered. "And also because, for some reason, Mea wanted to sit next to Rito."

"It's not just some reason, Nana." Mea protested. "I'm interested in what makes him so special."

"Don't I have enough competition as it is?" Run pouted as she leaned in closer to Rito.

"This is never going to end, is it?" Rito asked sarcastically, right before Yami sat in his lap. "What are you doing?"

"This is my special seat." Yami answered as if it were law.

"Three people in one seat seems a bit much, don't you think?" Tearju noted from the other end of the table. "I'm taking up two chairs all by myself, after all."

"Isn't that because your bottom is so big?" Lala asked innocently, not aware that such words were considered inappropriate in public.

"Could we all just sit down and eat?" Rito requested tiredly. "I'm fine with everyone sitting where they are."

"Excuse me, everyone," Interjected a very nervous looking waitress, with two more behind her. "If it's alright with all of you, we have the food you all ordered, so do you think you could please settle down? You're disturbing the other customers."

Looking around them, the group noticed that they were being stared at by most of the other patrons.

"Rito stays with me." Ryouko staked her claim immediately as she wrapped her left arm around him.

"I stay with Rito." Yami said as she fastened herself to his waist with her hair.

"This is gonna be a long night." Muttered Rito as the waitresses quickly served them and ran off to complain to the management.

* * *

**Saturday - A/N -**_ My apologies, I know the story implied that Rito would be talking with Lala's dad on this day, but upon review of my previous work, I've determined that it wouldn't add much to the story. Also, I just couldn't think of anything. All you need to know is that Rito learns that, during the war, Sallem provided Gid with weapons cheaply on three conditions. You already know that the first two were access to the Royal Trees and being completely excused from taxes. The third one is that Sallem wanted his own planet after the war, a favor he has yet to cash in. Looks like Rito is starting to live up to that detective nickname of his. So in place of your expectations, please enjoy this beach episode.**  
**_

"I can't believe what I'm seeing!" Saki exclaimed as she got a look at the inside of Rito's closet. "Your closet is bigger than my family's biggest estate!" She then glared at Rito in burning envy.

"Technically this is a subspace created by the unfathomable power of a Royal Tree." Ryoko explained as she and the rest of Rito's circle of friends/friendly acquaintances began entering the pocket dimension. "It's not really in Rito's closet, so much as its container is."

"Fundamentally, I don't really see the difference." Rin deadpanned.

"I'm guessing it has a lot to do with 4th Dimensional physics." Aya commented in amazement. "I know a few things, but this is way beyond the scope I'm familiar with."

"Who cares about that?!" Risa exclaimed excitedly, already in a yellow bikini. "We're here for a party and to meet cute boys! Which way to the beach?!"

"Technically, there's only two boys here." Mio, already in a blue bikini, reminded her partner in crime as she pointed to Rito and Zastin. "And both of them are spoken for several times over."

"So what?" Asked Risa innocently. "The idea of being a concubine just turns me on more. I want Rito to treat my emotions like dirt."

"She's even freakier than you are." Nana said to her twin, who could only nod in agreement as she debated to pros and cons of adding someone who even freaked her out.

"My reputation has officially reached an all time low." Rito sighed before turning his head toward Yami, who was currently riding piggyback. "Remind me again why you're clinging to me so much lately."

"You're my boyfriend." Yami answered as if it explained everything.

"Could you please be a bit more specific?" Rito asked awkwardly.

Thinking deeply for a moment, Yami answered. "You're my future husband."

"I'm guessing you've been spending a lot of time with Lala lately, haven't you?" Rito guessed, and received a nod in response.

Run meanwhile, was pouting in envy at how close Yami was to Rito. Suddenly though, a light bulb lit up above her head. "Catch me, Rito!" She cried as she pounced onto his front, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

"Hello there, Run." Rito grunted as he struggled to keep himself upright, Yami scowling at Run from her perch. "Can I ask what you're doing? You're kind of sending me off balance here." As he asked this, he noticed Run was frowning. "Is something the matter, Run?"

Run said nothing, and quickly buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Just let me stay here for a while, okay?"

"Run," Rito sighed as he ruffled her hair, which he noticed had grown out quite a bit since he last took notice. He knew her feelings for him, and while he honestly wanted to reciprocate, life was currently a maelstrom of personal issues, evil ghosts, and a harem full of girls practically designed to appeal to any number of fetishes. Much too crazy for him to worry about the subject right now. Suddenly, Yami wrapped her hair around all three of them, turning them into hair mummies. "Yami?"

"It's okay Rito." Was all she said as she nestled her chin on his free shoulder.

"You're certainly growing up well, Yami-chan." Tearju complimented her with a pet to the head. "You make me so happy." Yami, for her part, could only silently glare at her mother's huge boobs and ass, barely contained by a white, anti-gravity two-piece. "Are you alright sweetie? You're glaring at me again."

"You can't see it from underneath her hair, but she just made her chest bigger." Rito informed Tearju awkwardly, giving the mother an understanding.

"Can I ride Rito too?" Mea asked curiously, drawing a quick glare from Yami and an interested look from Momo.

"Let's just focus on getting to the beach for now, shall we?" Peke tried to pacify Yami's temper, having taken on her humanoid form again. "I'm sure once everyone's cooled their heads we can enjoy today for all it's worth."

"Way ahead of ya!" Ryoko called out from the nearby beach, already wearing her black sling swimsuit. "Come on in, the water's great!"

"How did she get over there so quickly?" Lala asked in amazement.

"I don't know, but I'm not going to just wait around here any longer." Oshizu said as she began yanking off her clothes while running to the beach.

"Wait a second Oshizu! What are you doing?!" Rito panicked as he tried to close his eyes, but couldn't help but stare at her jiggling rolls of fat as they popped out of her clothes... With a bikini already underneath. "What?" Was all a slightly disappointed sounding Rito had to say before Yui whacked him upside the head.

"What exactly were you looking for, Rito?" Yui scowled as she tapped her foot, her tail swung close to the ground, and her ears lay flat against her head, all bad signs. "Everyone came here with their swimsuits on under their clothes, did you forget? Exactly how far have your tastes been skewed these past few months?" She demanded to know as she pinched his nose.

"I wish I knew, Yui." Rito said through his blocked nose as his eyes drifted to all the women running to the beach. From the amputee, to conjoined, to fat, muscular, overblown boobs and ass, and the cat girl before him. He was beginning to worry that pretty much any kind of woman would arouse him now. "By the way Yui, I noticed you're actually wearing a swimsuit today." He said as he took stock of her white bikini, recalling all the previous times where she'd gone swimming in nothing but her fur. "It's nice." He added on, making sure she didn't have any time to get madder.

"You'd better think that," Yui huffed as she let go of his nose and walked to the beach several steps ahead of her lover and his two passengers. On their way, just before they arrived at the beach, she stopped momentarily and whispered. "As the father of my children, you'd better always think I'm beautiful."

"What?" Rito whispered in a panic as Yami and Run were instantly brought to an angry kind of attention.

After several seconds of silence, Yui spoke again. "...It's just as I said," She brought her hands to her abdomen. "You did it, so... you'd better take full responsibility."

"Rito." Yami growled as she dug her fingers into his shoulders, turning her hands into metal gauntlets to make it hurt more.

"You have some explaining to do." Pouted Run as she dug her nails into his back.

_'Things just got a lot more complicated.'_ Rito thought worriedly as he wondered how to explain this to everyone, especially Yui's family.

* * *

**Sunday Evening - Prison - With Rito, Oshizu, Yami, and Mea  
**

"I still can't believe we're breaking into prison," Rito whimpered as the four of them slinked past security, incredibly grateful for the cloaking devices and extendable tethers that Sallem had provided when he contacted him yesterday. "We could get in huge trouble for this."

"Then why don't you just stay behind?" Mea asked him as she walked slowly to avoid making a loud noise every time her peg leg struck the ground. "We can handle this just fine without you."

"Are you really the one to be saying that?!" Rito hissed quietly. "Why did you even come along with us? This is really dangerous."

"I like this kind of atmosphere," Mea smiled, not that anyone could see it. "It give me a nice homey feeling." She left it unsaid that she hoped this place would bring Yami back to the darkness of the assassin world.

"Your tastes are disturbing." Yami deadpanned, unaware that her words hurt Mea more than she intended. "This is where the scum of the world lives. I'm only here because Rito asked me to protect him and Oshizu from the ghost we're hunting." That drove a metaphorical arrow through Mea's heart.

"I'd just like to say that I'm the most scared out of anyone here." Oshizu whimpered as they dodged a guard. "I've spent 400 years listening to ghost stories from people who spent the night at whatever place I was living, and a lot of them were about dangerous criminals."

"Do you guys think you could keep it down?" Rito whispered as the tip-toed through the mess hall. "I don't think I should have to remind you all that our cloaking devices don't block sound."

"If you're worried about making noise, I think I can help you there." Yami offered as she morphed some of her hair into an arm and slammed a random convict face first into his food tray. This set off an instant chain reaction of all the other prisoners laughing at him, the splatter-faced convict attacking the first guy he saw when he pulled his face from his food, everyone else joining in a huge riot, and the guards struggling to break it up.

"It's seriously this easy to send a prison into a riot." Rito sweatdropped, not bothering to keep him voice quiet anymore, as there was no way they could be overheard now.

"I've been forced to make distractions in rough areas before," Yami explained as they walked out of the mess hall. "It's not something I'm proud of, but I'm glad it's useful to you."

"So exactly who is it we're here to capture today?" Oshizu whimpered, the prison getting more scary for her by the second. "Please tell me you found out that it's just someone who died here for something minor? Like unpaid parking tickets, or tax evasion?"

"No such luck, I'm afraid." Rito shook his head, causing Oshizu to tear up. "Based on the evidence I've gathered, the most likely target this time is an American man named Johnny Lucius. He came to Japan about 20 years ago, and almost immediately after arriving killed 13 people at the veteran's hospital." Oshizu clung to him for security the moment he said that.

"Why would anyone do something like that?" Oshizu shivered nervously. "And what even makes you so sure that it's him we're after?"

"Racism." Rito sighed sadly. "According to archives, his dad had died in World War II against Japanese troops when he was just a kid, and he held a festering grudge against our nation ever since. He committed suicide in prison 7 years ago, after years of being heckled by the other inmates. He didn't even speak Japanese, so the constant taunting and harassment in a language he didn't even understand finally got to him. As for why I think it's him..." He paused for a moment, contemplating whether he should continue, before shaking his head. "Well, let's just say I have good reasons for suspecting that it's him." He knew he didn't need to say anything for Yami to understand, and Mea seemed to be smart and odd enough to get it, so he stayed quiet to spare Oshizu the gruesome details.

"Do you think he's going to be any trouble?" Mea asked almost eagerly, slightly unnerving Rito and catching Yami's suspicions. They both knew she obviously had some connection to something big, since she was currently living pretty much under house arrest with one of Sallem's brothers. Not to mention that her attitude towards breaking into prison to capture the ghost of a deranged serial killer was too happy by any standards. They had their guard up in case she tried something, but Yami couldn't help feeling that there was something a bit too familiar about her.

"...The articles on him did say that he was pretty good with a knife," Rito admitted hesitantly, causing Oshizu to cling to him even tighter, her folds of fat squishing around his body. "But with Yami here, there shouldn't be any trouble." He quickly added, tapping Yami on the shoulder to signal her to back him up.

Suddenly, Yami drew to an abrupt halt, causing Rito to bump into her, Oshizu to bump into Rito, and Mea to bump into Oshizu. "There's someone here." Yami warned everyone as she shifted her hand into a blade. "Everyone get in a circle. If all eyes are outward, we can't be caught off guard."

"Is it Johnny?" Oshizu squeaked, comically trying to hide her blubbery frame behind Rito's body.

"In my experience, things usually get worse from this point." Mea commented, her expression and tone very deadly serious. Quickly noticing the suspicious looks she was getting from the others, she floundered for an excuse. "Or at least... that's what I've seen in movies." She said pathetically.

"We're gonna have to have a talk about your crime stained past once this is over." Rito snarked at Mea.

"I'm totally busted, aren't I?" Mea pouted in defeat.

"Blah! Blah! Blah! Speak English you damned Yellow Monkeys!" Shouted a rude haunting voice from nowhere in English. "I may not be able to see ya, but I can damn well smell your piss-stained stink! Isn't it bad enough I had to deal with you fuckers in life? Now I'm being forced to endure this shit in death too?!"

As the voice of Johnny droned on, a familiar sound caught Yami's ears. "Look out!" She shouted as she rushed behind Rito and formed her hand into an intricate shield, blocking the knife that was headed towards the back of his neck.

"Thanks for the save, Yami." Rito gulped as Oshizu fell to her knees at how close they both came to being stabbed.

"Pull yourselves together," Yami commanded as she hoisted Oshizu up by the scruff of her neck. "This ghost is obviously very dangerous. We can't afford to be careless."

"Just die already, you shits!" Johnny exploded as the cell bars rattled, and knives flew out of the kitchen and surrounded them.

"We're going to be cut to ribbons!" Shrieked Oshizu, prompting Rito to slap her.

"Snap out of it and hold them off!" Rito demanded frantically as the knives flew in at high speed, only to stop just inches from their marks. "Thanks for the save, Oshizu." He sighed in relief.

"What the fuck?!" Johnny shouted as the bars rattling abruptly stopped. "What's going on here?! Which one of you bastards is messing with my mojo?!"

"He's really strong." Oshizu grunted as she pushed the knives away telekinetically. "I'm putting up a barrier to protect us, but with his power pushing against mine, I don't think it'll last long."

"Where is he though?" Mea asked as she rapidly scanned the room with her one eye. "His voice is echoing from everywhere, and I can't get a visual." Even though she wasn't vocal about it, this situation had her slightly unnerved as well. While she was used to criminals and killers, being on this planet had not been good for her on either a physical or mental level.

"I'm trying my best to sense his presence, but he moves too fast and hides himself too well." Oshizu strained as subtle ripples in the air emanated from her. "I think I might be able to predict his next movements, but I'll need one of you to hit him there fast and hard."

"If he stays within 5 meters of us, I can reach him instantly." Yami offered as she deflected a knife that had wormed through the barrier.

"Aww, what's the matter Chinkies?" Johnny remarked rudely as the knives kept circling the group, occasionally making another bid to get through. "Running out of juice? 'Cuz I've still got mountains of rage left to split your squinty faces in half!"

"Okay, I don't even speak his language, and even I can tell that's incredibly racist." Mea scowled, her temper on its last nerve. "Hey, Oshizu was it? Where's he going to be in two seconds?"

"Uhmm... Over by that cell door, I think." She guessed, and no sooner did she do so than a large laser fired right by her head and slammed into an invisible Johnny, knocking his through the door and setting off an alarm. "What just happened?" Oshizu sweatdropped nervously.

"I think I have a hunch," Rito said as he grabbed Mea by the arm, catching her mid-transformation. This caught even her off guard, as she assumed that her cloaking device would keep her safe for long enough for her to change, fire, and change back. "Mind explaining why you seem to have the same powers as Yami?"

"...They're not exactly the same." Mea defended pitifully as she shifted her hand from a laser cannon back to normal. "I was made after Yami was, so my powers are a later version."

"DAMN YOU FUCKING CHINKS!" Johnny shouted in his usual crass English as the now visible ghost righted himself. He wore an orange prison jumpsuit, was incredibly gaunt with sparse white hair, and his skin somehow managed to be wrinkled and pulled tight against his face at the same time, making him look like freakishly like a sun-dried corpse. "I don't know how you did that, but I'm gonna enjoy taking you all apart!"

Wasting no time now that her target was visible, Yami sprung into the air, and dive-bombed Johnny with her foot changed into a giant mace, making a huge crater in the ground and crushing the vile ghost. "You're very offensive." She deadpanned to his unconscious form.

"Umm..." Rito stared in surprise at the devastation his loli lover had wrought. "Nice job."

"Don't mention it," Yami shrugged it off as she grabbed Mea. "You however, have some serious explaining to do when we get out of here."

"Uh, shouldn't Rito capture the ghost before anything else?" Mea reminded everyone evasively.

"Already done." Rito interjected, the Poltergust rattling with the newly contained serial killer ghost, and the room starting to flood with confused guards. "Let's just get out of here and feed Oshizu the curse energy."

"We'll have to do it the other way around, actually." Oshizu said as she put the nozzle of the Poltergust to her mouth and switched it to 'blow'. Within moments, she'd eaten the energy. "And here comes the digestion." Suddenly, a huge cloud of glittery smoke burst from Oshizu, covering the escape of the four ghost hunters.

* * *

**Yuuki Household - With Everyone  
**

"And that's pretty much my story in a nutshell." Mea said, wrapping up her explanation of her origins and reasons for being on Earth.

"You came here to kill my boyfriend?" Nana stared in shock at her (now possibly ex-)friend.

"No, no! Not me personally!" Mea denied quickly. "Just make Yami-onee-chan do it so she'd come back to space with me."

"And how's that been working out for you?" Ryoko asked sarcastically, sparing a none too quick glance at her injuries.

"I didn't count on the Cortez Siblings being so merciless." Mea pouted as she rubbed the scarred tissue where her left arm used to be.

"I'll never kill Rito," Yami said sternly, her current position straddling her boyfriends lap reinforcing that point. "So don't think you can make me."

"...I know that now." Pouted Mea reluctantly. "I could tell by the way you protected him in the prison that you'd never hurt him. I just wanted my onee-chan."

"Well, if nothing else, you've certainly got a mother now." Mikan noted, obviously referring to how the amputee girl was currently nestled in between Tearju's boobs, the woman hugging her mercilessly.

"You don't need to worry anymore," Tearju reassured the girl. "I've talked with Jackson, and he feels you're ready to come into our care now."

"Do I have to?" Whined Mea. Honestly, between this and her old residence, she couldn't decide which was worse.

"It's not so bad," Momo told the living weapon. "I'm sure you'll love being in Rito's harem! The orgies are just to die for!"

"Hold on a second! Where's this coming from all of a sudden!?" Panicked Rito, once a common occurrence, now somewhat unusual.

"That actually sounds like a good idea," Yui of all people said. "I could really go for some action right now. Since I'm already pregnant, it'll be fine if I don't bother with a condom."

"Wait a second! What are you guys doing?!" Rito panicked as Ryoko grabbed him before he could run away.

"Girls have needs, Rito." Ryoko grinned as she hauled him upstairs bridal-style. "Honestly, I'd think you'd know that by now."

"Am I the only one who feels that this is getting out of hand?" Mikan deadpanned. "You guys can quit the joke now. It's not funny anymore."

"Joke?" Rito parroted as Ryoko set him down. "You mean you guys were just pulling my leg?"

"Some of us were, at least." Nana rolled her eyes at her twin.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Momo lied poorly, before her gaze wandered to Mea. "But in the event that we were serious, is there anyone here who'd be interested in joining in the fun?" Her eyes then drifted to Oshizu.

Oshizu blushed and curled herself up as best she could around her now 540 pound body, Mea blinked curiously, and Mikan just rolled her eyes before raising her hand, much to Rito's shock and fear. "Psyche." Mikan stuck her tongue out teasingly. "As if I'd sleep with my own brother."

"...I might like to watch sometime," Mea admitted, gaining several weird stares. While she was naive about sex, and didn't know what she said wrong, she quickly tried to amend her statement. "But only so I can get a good idea of how it works, then I'll do it for real!" There was a long and awkward pause before Yami karate chopped her on the head. "Owwie!"

"You, watch your step around us from now on," Yami scolded her sister. "Because if you step out of line, I will find out." Heading up the stairs, she gave Rito a quick kiss. "Goodnight, Rito."

"I think I'll be getting off to bed now too," Ryoko yawned. "And you're gonna be my snuggle pillow tonight, my future hubby~!" She said as she squeezed Rito next to her face.

"So long as you weren't serious about having sex tonight." Rito relented as everyone but Mikan ventured upstairs. "I've had a long day, and I just want to sleep easy tonight."

Once everyone was upstairs, Mikan signed as she sunk into her seat. "When will I just be honest about my feelings? Yui's already pregnant, and the others probably aren't far behind. I don't care if it is incest, I just want to marry my brother." Looking around the room, she put her face in her hands and groaned. "I can't believe I just said this out loud!"

* * *

So, so sorry it took so long to get this out, but it's here now, and I promise to work harder in the future. Part of the reason it took me so long to get this out is because my dog is getting old, and I've started my first full-time job recently, and it's really been stressing me out ever since all this started in mid-June. I think I've finally got my issues with my dog's age, and with my job out of my system, so I'm gonna do better from now on. It wasn't easy to deal with all this though, and it's only because I found the Lord that I'm able to hold myself together now. That's right, I'm now officially religious, though I'm not extreme about it. I'm Rastafarian.

Tonda Gossa!

Amen


End file.
